How The Date Of A Resolution Sets People Up For Failure:
MORGAN RATLIFF COPY EDITOR:
I hate New Year’s resolutions. I hate how gyms become filled with suddenly motivated fat people. How documentary-inspired guilty meat eaters take a crack at vegetarianism. How
boozin’ college students with slackin’ GPAs stop attending parties out of the blue. How every half-wit literary pseudo-expert packs their bookshelf with an additional four or five hunks of fiber they never get around to reading. I find it funny how those gyms are suddenly empty by February. How failed vegetarians sink their teeth in some half-pound, grease-soaked burger.
How parties soon have no shortage of attendees. How books are eventually pushed up against one another on shelves everywhere to make room for the next round about the New Year.
The problem with New Year’s resolutions is how meaningless they are. Parents are motivated by their kids, workers are motivated by that raise that will finally pay off their student loans…
and then these New Year’s losers are motivated by some date. We went around the sun again. Woo. Hey, I went grocery shopping on Thursday like I do every week. Know what that means? Jack-diddly-squat. Consistency may be key, but all New Year’s resolutions are consistently bullsh*t. Unless there’s some genuine purpose behind any life change, it won’t work. Everyone will fail the second they attach action to anything but their own legitimate desire to make it happen. And, if motivation is merely a date, people just got a date with failure. I can’t name a single person who wants to follow through on their New Year’s resolutions anyway. People
always have a final night of junk food binging before their new diet or one last booze blowout before they quit drinking. If somebody actually wanted to change, he or she wouldn’t indulge so heavily right before that indulgence was no longer an option. They wouldn’t care about when their change starts. They’d do it. Simple. So what should people do? It. Whatever “it” is. Stop gorging on Big Macs, put down the handle, go to a tutor once or twice and try audiobooks. Forget the date. People should start changing whenever they can, wherever they are ‘cause they need to. If they have something against this sentiment, they don’t really want to change. For a lot of people though, they want to change and the date is setting them up for failure.
