Relationships can be one of the most meaningful and powerful elements in a person’s life. Though some may seem perfect, others may have hidden issues. A new column by Kelly Davis and Shane Rice, “That’s What She Said/That’s What He Said,” will help address these hidden and open dilemmas most of us face in our relationships. We will provide ways and advice on how to add communication, intimacy, and adventure. There are two sides too relationships; with that in mind Kelly and Shane will write from both female and male perspectives. In addition this column will allow readers to ask questions online and seek advice. Most people have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make relationships flourish; allow this column to guide you and your partner.
By Kelly Davis
– Copy Editor –
There are times in every relationship when one feels disgusted by their partner. Times like this can turn off your partner and make them look the other way. Is this sort of thing really necessary?
Couples should value each other’s personal feelings by exploring their arousals as well as their irritations in order to embark in a stable, healthy relationship.
To do so, couples must have “the talk.” They need to sit down and discuss the do’s and do not’s in the relationship. Of course, every person’s answer may vary. Some may answer by saying something simple such as, “Don’t fart around me and we’ll be fine.” Others may have a long list and if their partner does not agree to it, that relationship may end.
However, there is a bright side to this; if a break up occurs, at least the couple found out sooner than later. Either way, the talk needs to take place or the relationship could get a bit repelling.
Typically, this talk should take place in the beginning of the relationship but not on the first date. There is no need to scare anyone off. Plus, they may think their date is uptight.
This talk can take place at any place at any time. Make sure the conversation is between you and your partner only. No one else needs to know; some of the issues may be a bit awkward to discuss. But most importantly, don’t eat while this conversation takes place. It’s very likely that the topics could make stomachs flip. Taking a bite into a piece of cheesy pizza while hearing about vaginal farts, pooping and Dutch ovens can be completely foul; that piece of pizza will be thrown away immediately.
Most men and women who have this conversation have a variety of turnoffs. For instance, men usually do not like it when women talk idiotically, fart around them, or flaunt their body parts. Most men like to see women as pure, innocent lovers. If that door of mystery is opened, men tend to lose interest.
As for women, they generally do not like when men have bad hygiene, forget their wallets (purposely), portray ignorant or immature personalities, or insult their spouse in public or any time for that matter.
Women don’t want to be with dirty, rude men. They want a lover who cares about himself as well as others around him. Indeed, it may seem that women have a longer list, but maybe this is a sign that men need to take more interest in women’s wants. So, what does this say about men? Do they have short lists because they don’t care? Ponder this thought, please.
Men and women both have flaws. Men and women both have turnoffs. The only way to live with it is by dealing with it together. It does not mean that one person is better than the other. It also does not mean that one is more notorious. Couples must consider each other’s values and work with each other so no one is sickened or revolted.
Take the time to have “the talk” with your partner and explore the unpleasant to make the pleasant more appealing.
By Shane Rice
– News Editor –
Sex and relationships for some men are like cars. Turn them on, turn them off and as long as they are kept maintained they will last a life time. However, just like a man’s preference in cars varies so does their appetite for sex. While some men like role-playing and dominance, others may prefer seduction and innocence. But whatever the pleasure may be, all men have turn offs.
Turn offs are inevitable and unavoidable. They can creep up without a second’s notice and destroy a seemingly perfect romantic setting in the blink of an eye. However, these small parasitical issues can differ from person to person. Some men get turned off by dominating women while others love the surrender.
One common turn off is women that talk too much in bed. These women are the types that tell a man detail for detail what to do. “Take off my shirt slowly; now undo my bra…NO! No, no, no…you’re doing it too fast. Now run your fingers through my hair and nibble on my ear.” This can be quite annoying for some men. When a man feels like sex has just become traffic school, he loses all interest.
Another turn off for men is the “dead lay” (Women who simply lie in bed with no enthusiasm). Granted, for some cultures around the world this is how it was and is done. The women lay there while the men get in and get out, so to speak. But this is no longer the Dark Ages and Americans are not tribal bound. Men like and deserve some emotion and enthusiasm out of their women; movement at least. If a woman cannot act interested in what’s transpiring in the bedroom, then men should not be bound to the high expectations of pleasure either; it is a team effort in its entirety.
By far one of the biggest complaints by some men is about women who do not properly take care of themselves. Though this is more common for married women, there is a population of women out there that think “oh natural” is making a comeback. NO! This way of thinking should have died with MC Hammer pants and corduroys or earlier. Most men don’t want to feel bush whacked or like they have to fight their way through a jungle of love in order to find the oasis in the middle. Just as women would expect a man to properly groom himself, men expect the same from the woman. There are not many men that find bad breath, frizzed unfixed hair, holey panties that should have been retired ten years ago, attractive.
Although some couples like to share everything about one another, there are some things that should be left out. Talking about former lovers is not a turn on for most people and yes, men are just as guilty of this tertiary. Though men are in fact competitive in nature, it does not mean they want to know what “Johnny, Bob and Steve” did while in the relationship. Just as women want to feel special and unique, men want to feel like they’re exploring uncharted territory; like they are doing something that no man has ever done before. Yes ladies, “stroke” his ego.
