That’s What She Said; That’s What He Said: Online Dating

Posted on 10 March 2011 by admin

Relationships can be one of the most meaningful and powerful elements in a person’s life. Though some may seem perfect, others may have hidden issues. A new column by Kelly Davis and Shane Rice, “That’s What She Said/That’s What He Said,” will help address these hidden and open dilemmas most of us face in our relationships. We will provide ways and advice on how to add communication, intimacy, and adventure. There are two sides too relationships; with that in mind Kelly and Shane will write from both female and male perspectives. In addition this column will allow readers to ask questions online and seek advice.  Most people have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make relationships flourish; allow this column to guide you and your partner.

Kelly Davis - Copy Editor - Shane Rice - News Editor -

That’s what she said

Kelly Davis
– Copy Writer –

The world of dating can be an annoyance. It is time consuming. It is nerve-inducing. It is a nauseating rollercoaster ride that makes people want to scream, “Make it stop!” However, men and women have to continue this ride in order to find their soul mate. Well, there is now a new, carefree solution: online dating.

Online dating is the new and improved way to date without having to leave your home. Men and women can join internet websites such as Match.com, eHarmony and http://PlentyofFish.com (PlentyofFish) where they can search for eligible, compatible partners.

Most of these sites consist of a profile page, where a person can display their information such as personality traits, likes and dislikes. There is also the option to post pictures for others to view. The pictures can be very helpful because it allows men and women to justify their attraction. Nevertheless, there are people out there who like to use fake pictures, so be cautious.

Anyway, members of these websites can log in at anytime throughout the day, or night, to check out their “matches.” They can search for people who are in the area to: take out to dinner, eat gelato and stroll through the park, or they can talk dirty on chat or video with a glorifying sex kitten that lives in another state. Everyone has his/her own preference.

People who join typically join for a specific reason. Some may have a busy work schedule and do not have time to date. Others may be too nervous and fear the anxiety of face-to-face contact; this will lessen the unease and amplify the conversation. There are also men and women who register because they have no idea where to meet the right person. These sites can lead them in the right direction. Unfortunately, there are also people who are using those false pictures in order to scheme and taunt others in emotional and sexual ways. Due to this, the website http:// tineye.com is available for people to upload photos and the site will determine whether the pictures are phony simply by linking the pictures to its former websites like YouTube and Flickr.

Most importantly, men and women are generally looking for love and/or passion. They are longing to find someone who can satisfy their needs and thrust into their tunnel of glee. With these sites, people can search for this desire in a quick, lighthearted manner. Men and women can talk to a person for a few minutes, decide if they are worthy and ask them out. Alternatively, they can disapprove and move on to another jaw-dropping hottie within seconds. It is easy and it speeds up the search for love.

Once men and women find their perfect match, they tend to jump for joy in their computer chairs because they have finally found their soul mate in the most serene way. Now, they can go on dates, hold hands, kiss softly, learn each other’s stories, and take the thrilling rollercoaster ride together. However, those couples will never get off this ride; they will ride for eternity.

By this time, the couples who have found true happiness can delete their profiles and turn off the computers, for the websites have done their part.

 

That’s what he said

Shane Rice
– News

Long before Internet and speed dating, people would meet in bars, through mutual friends, and a number of other personal ways. However, as the era of fast want and online love approached dating became a drive thru window, so to speak.

Online dating was once thought to be for losers and the desperate, but now the Worldwide Web has become the ultimate singles bar. The noise, the drunks and the cost of the not-so-happy hours are quickly becoming a thing of the past.

Though online dating is not for everyone, it has become quite the norm for most because the work is done for them and the fear of rejection is not as substantial. Online sites like Match.com, E-Harmony and Fubar allow people to view others without conversation and read the likes and dislikes. If they don’t like what they read then it’s on to the next person.

It doesn’t matter if they look at 10 people or 100, these sites claim they can find a person’s perfect match. However, a few answered questions and an overview of a person’s life does not show an actual person but a person who doesn’t have the time for love or a person to scared to do it on their own.

Honestly it’s the rejection people face that helps mold the right man or woman. They learn what to say or not say. They build up a confidence that shows in their walk, talk and overall attitude.

One of the biggest problems with online dating is everyone embellishes who they really are. If they work for a car wash, then all the sudden they own five vehicles and a car lot. If they are unemployed, they quickly become an entrepreneur or a philanthropist, and it’s a lie that will eventually be unveiled.

In the old times of dating, people would always try to impress, but they still had to be themselves to a point. If they had a good sense of humor, then it would shine through even when the nerves tightened the muscles of the stomach. If they were shy yet romantic, it would show based on where they went for the first date.

No longer is personality a trait of companionship or a dimpled smile. Online dating has pushed people into an “Is this person financially secure? Do they have good baby making genes? Where can they take me? Unfortunately, it’s become a materialistic thing and love has become a marketing strategy.

People need to hit the beat and have fun. Person to person interaction is the only true way anyone is going to find that ‘soul mate’ they have so desperately been searching for. Allow rejection to occur and find a way to help it mold the person inside because at the end of the day that’s what people want—they want real. Real problems, real love, just real in life. Holding onto the notion that this or that site can find a person love is nothing more than a cursed myth that is bound to have a bad ending.

  • Tabitha Carter

    (I am curious to ask if all comments were deleted at the end of school or nobody commented at all) But I am willing to comment during the end of summer while classes are approaching because it is a good excercise to debate through writing, am I right?
    My take on online dating is filled with mixed emotions and well…debates. It’s like an old time weighing machine, the golden kind that I forget the name of. I think the zodiac calls it Libra. Grin with me in that thought as my mind forgets the name of this machine. A rough image should be going through your mind right now at what I’m talking about so I’m skipping ahead to the point.
    If you are young and restless, bars and clubs are the norm and average way to meet someone. Like most young people, they have a social community wrapped around their fingers and ways to mingle like older people seem to flutter out of. There are schools, campuses, extracurricular activities, newspapers(ahem) and organizations like church and ‘Save the Whale” campaigns. It should be easier, and I clarify just a tad bit easier, to find a match or a semi match to what a person in seeking for that time being.
    But who are we fooling? Relationships are hard within itself. There’s always rejection, embarrassment, prudeness, shyness, ridicule, negativity and don’t forget the postivity in the chemistry that people seem to attract and fall away from. The hardship is finding that someone to fill the void, whatever that  void is, and taking the step to further the communcation.
    What online dating offers is time, convenience, and a list of potentials and predators. Online dating has dropped a bomb on the social norm and taken it farther than I would have imagined for the future. Because the millenium is all about convenience and raising our young adults into a lazy culture that gets everything handed down to them with a press of a thumb and a touch of a button, a whine in a voice, and a stomp of the foot…online dating has skyrocketed into a new culture.
    A culture where life is a scroll down the computer screen and a tap, tap, tap on a keyboard that exclaims “Let’s meet for lunch at Bread Co!”
    Don’t get me wrong. Online dating has matched up millions of couples that married and swear by the credentials on a profile. Online dating has weeded out bad dates, blind dates, and wasted time. Why even try the thrill of a blind date if you weren’t able to connect on an internet? That’s old school.
    And online dating has given older singles a window of opportunity. Finally, a place outside of a smoky bar and a disco balled clubroom to meet someone that might be a future wife/husband. Older singles have their work cut out for them because they might not have the social community that they used to be involved in. I get this. I understand this.
    What I want to point out is this: Online dating should be a last resort. It is a window but with a curtain. Only when all else has failed should one wonder about a list of credentials and a profile that could or may not be the true profile of a person. The fun in dating is the unknowing, the hardship it took to not know, to anticipate, to wonder. The thrill with online dating is that it is a fantasy…the what if and then the reality of greet and meet. It’s too easy to exit a person, to decline a friendship, to back out. Somtimes taking it old school can actually bring something new to the table.
    We don’t necessarily have to go with the flow or follow the trend because online dating is convenient for our busy worklives. Maybe instead of juggling everything on our dinnerplate with every utensil in the drawer, we can take time to breathe, cut back in the stress, and enjoy a normal day without technology. God forbid we limit the digital outergrounds and remember what it’s like to cross a real live person and say “Hi, how are you, what’s your name? Oh yeah? Me too!” without a ‘click here’ button for posey photos.

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