America Kicks Ass; Zero Dark Kickass

Posted on 23 January 2013 by admin

Zero Dark Kickass

 

By: Kavahn Mansouri
-Editor in Chief-

ILLUSTRATION BY | CORY MONTERO

Osama Bin Laden has been dead for a good while now. Justice has been done and enough time has passed to the point where it is time for our amazing nation to produce a blockbuster about how he died.

Zero Dark Thirty, released on December 19 was a film based on the “story of the world’s greatest manhunt for the world’s most dangerous man.”

It by all standards is the most kick ass American film to come out since the blockbuster “Action Jackson” with Carl Weathers in 1988. It takes quite a film to outdo the exploits of Lt. Jericho “Action” Jackson and “Zero Dark Thiry” does exactly that. It by all means is a no holds bar, action filled rollercoaster ride of a movie. Starting from point A to point B this movie will rock your face off with awesome explosions and helicopter crashes.

Now I have to be honest, I have not actually seen the movie, but I can tell you that the dreams I had about it are probably as awesome as the actual movie.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were awesome in Zero Dark Thirty. The two of them assaulted the compound with only combat knives and their fists. Stallone took on four bodyguards while Schwarzenegger fought Osama’s main henchman, played by Liam Neeson in his extremely dramatic roll as a conflicted member of Jihad. When Stallone finished with the body guards he quickly confronted Osama Bin Laden himself, played by Toby Maguire. The two had a brief exchange before Stallone ended it all. The two escaped the stronghold just as it exploded from the self-destruction sequence Osama (Maguire)  triggered.

Zero Dark Thirty is by all means another reason America kicks ass. The fact that America can produce awesome movies about their awesome exploits is in fact… awesome. So grab your red, white and blue pants and head to the movies

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