Discouraging the use of contraceptives is naive and immmoral. The excitement, wonders and pleasures of sexual intimacy come with the ability to spread death and the power to create life. Life and death are not subtle in consequence; only the wise-loving action of taking precautions will prevent these primal forces from wildly unleashing themselves. Still, some see using a contraceptive as a turn-off, a condom for instance.
Using a condom does not have to interrupt the moment. Whether by hand or mouth, rolling a condom onto your lover's penis can be a highly erotic moment. Maybe using a condom isn't so deliciously raw, but hey, it'll increase sexual stamina and prevent permanently dampening your sex life for around 18 years.
Protecting our partners and ourselves by insisting on some sort of pregnancy and STD preventative, such as a simple condom, is a powerful way of communicating self-respect and genuine care. Whether disastrously unmet or gracefully improvised, unplanned pregnancies impact everyone. Using protection fulfills a human obligation, helping prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
Contraceptives abound: the pill, in-utero devices, injections, female condoms, vasectomies, sterilization, tube tying, spermicidal lubricants, sponges, cervical caps, diaphragms and male condoms. Remember, contraceptives are designed to prevent pregnancy. Only protective barriers like (most) condoms can also help prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea and others.
One of the privileges and marks of living in one of the most developed nations in the world is the availability of contraceptives. Contraceptives can be acquired through family doctors, health clinics (such as Planned Parenthood), adult toy stores, grocery stores and gas stations. Blind faith has never served anyone well. Unfortunately, just as available as the real deal are mythical methods of preventing pregnancy, but hey, you get what you pay for.
Myths on preventing pregnancy are listed on the North Texas Planned Parenthood website www.ppnt.org, and include: women can't get pregnant on their periods, a woman can't get pregnant while loosing her virginity, urinating or douching after intercourse will flush out semen, intercourse in a body of water, intercourse in a vertical/standing position, and the man pulling out before ejaculating.
None of these are reliable methods of preventing pregnancy or STDs. The time, effort and money to obtain a scientifically proven method of protection is worth it. Obtaining a contraceptive is not an easy task for some.
There is a reason some stores have contraceptives under video surveillance: theft. For many, buying protection can be a vulnerable moment.
Contraceptive in hand, approaching the checkout counter can be a heroic act, facing down the little old lady holding the laser scanner as if she were the Pope or a fire breathing dragon. Buying contraceptives is not a guilty confession. It is lovely; it is human. Purchasers should take pride in taking care of themselves and their partner(s).
What other people might think is not more important than making a smart, sophisticated (and sexy) choice. "God" helps those who helps themselves, still rings true.
Disease and unplanned pregnancies are realities of unsafe sex, not reflections of self-worth.
Other people's opinions (and our own lust) cannot be allowed to hold good sense hostage. Good sense is the essential protection. Let it take form.
Next time "Penetrating the Heart." Until next time, make love.
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