The Montage explores the archetypes of people when they go on spring break
By: BRITTNEY FARROW, AUSTIN SCHUMANN, JASON WATERS
Copy Editor, Online Editor, Staff Designer
Every college student fantasizes about the perfect spring break. Whether it’s vacationing in an exotic country or heading to the beach for some sun, spring break trips come in many forms. In the midst of all the excitement, many students suffer from impatience. The time that passes before a week of vacation can be stressful; it’s full of obstacles such as Midterms and the mid-semester slump. Teachers and parents will often lecture about the dangers of alcohol abuse and partying too hard. No matter how many times they’ve heard it, the poor souls who hear the “spring break talk” will have to fight off wild urges to roll their eyes.
Regardless of where a student chooses to spend their spring break does not matter nearly as much as what they choose to do while taking that time off. When it comes to spring break, students tend to fall into a handful of stereotypes. Students who party, in particular, are bound to become either the Designated Chaperone or the Drunk Crier – to name a few options. In order to help you discover your own spring break archetype, The Montage has narrowed the selection down to six individual categories for you to pick through at your leisure.
One of the common spring breaker archetypes is the Vacationer. Blessed enough to have the money and resources to travel, the Vacationer is the friend of yours that is spamming Instagram with beautiful, vivid landscape photos while you stuff easy mac down your throat from the couch. Deserving of the trip or not, the Vacationer has the time of their lives hoping from country to country in sake of “finding themselves” through mission work or pure fun. If you’re lucky they might invite you to come along, but chances are the Vacationer would rather go with people much more talented and beautiful than you are.
The Planner is the person that can not take a step forward without a meticulously planned schedule to do so. They have to know what they are doing, when they are doing it and how they plan to get started before anything else is done. The benefits being that the Planner is rarely surprised and usually has a back up plan in place. The Planner will be seen hunched over their books getting various homework, studying and chores done, often at the same time. Do not worry that they will never see their friends this week, they have already planned to make time for them later.
Drifting in a sea of beet-red faces, the Party-Goer is comfortable in his natural habitat. Keg stands and beer-amids may be his Achilles’ heel but he’s in good company. Homework and studying is last thing on the mind of this individual. The only true concern of the Party-Goer is who’s bringing the ‘Natty Light’. It’s spring break, a time when he can forget his abysmal GPA and drown himself in alcohol and blaring music in this week-long escapade of questionable decision-making. Coming back from break may be a drag but when the weekend rolls around it’s time to party.
For students who are much more school-minded than others, spring break is the perfect time to catch up on work. The 24/7 Student is the spring breaker archetype that will pack their homework in their carry-on and do it on the plane. Whether their trip includes a visit to an out-of-state grandparent or an extravagant flight to another country, the 24/7 Student will sacrifice leisurely tourism for better grades. This archetype spring breaker doesn’t have to travel at all; they are perfectly content to sit at home and type up essays while their peers party the week away. Mock the 24/7 Student all you want, but they’ll have their assignments complete when school comes again – especially that one you forgot to do when you were drunk on a Tuesday afternoon.
Refusing to give into the money vacuum that is spring break, the Worker is the only archetype likely to make more than they spend during their time off. Using the extra free time to take some more shifts, the Worker will spend very little of their vacation time doing anything other than what they get paid to do. This may result in them flaking on plans or turning-down invitations to go out while their friends do much less productive activities. While the Worker may complain about all the additional labor that they are doing they won’t mind the fat paycheck that waits for them at the end of their work week. Having extra cash to spend on the essentials will surely make the Worker very happy – much happier, at least, than they would be getting arrested while out on the town.
The Couch Potato is the one that does the least amount of moving possible. Their goal is to prepare for spring break so that when it finally arrives they have all that they need. This includes all possible snacks, a T.V. in easy view and having all remotes within arms-reach. The Couch Potato spends their time switching between Netflix binges and video game marathons. Be careful when approaching, for they have received very little sleep and have a tendency to be snappish and constantly hungry. You can track their movements through online sources such as Tumblr and other social media. It is important to be aware that they have received very little sunlight over the week.